>Recovering from miscarriage

>As I said on my original post I was, for lack of a better word, absolutely gutted to have a miscarriage on Christmas Day. Its been 3 weeks now and some days I feel like I have come to terms with it and then others it sucker punches me all over again. This morning I received my booking in and scan appointment from the hospital which really hit home what could have been. Ahead of me are a number of key milestones and although I only knew I was pregnant for two weeks the due date (20 August) will be forever etched on my mind.

I will also be cautious from now on not to throw the “are you planning number two” question on anyone as its been a really tough one to answer (why is that a standard question, a follow up to “when are you… getting engaged, getting married, having a baby” delete as appropriate) and bless my poor best friend who asked that very question five days after the miscarriage and looked mortified when I told her.

As someone who is actively trying to have a baby there seems to be a sudden influx of newborn babies and pregnant women wherever I go (obviously I am just noticing them more) and whilst I am really sad about what happened to me I still smile when I see them. I thought it would upset me to see them and yes there is a touch of the green eyed monster, but overall I take hope that other people can have babies, so that’s a good thing!

The Eastenders cot death / baby snatching storyline has been the focus of a lot of media attention recently and whilst I thought I didn’t understand the uproar, having not experienced cot death, I am beginning to understand why so many parents have been insulted by the picture they have painted. Indeed, I don’t want anyone else’s bump, I want my very own one.

And so it is with that in mind that the man and I sneak upstairs to introduce Mr Swimmers to Mrs Egg, and if there is one positive I can take from the whole experience, it is the restarting of the baby making!


19 Responses

  1. >Thanks for sharing this. I understand how you are feeling…the more you talk about it, the more you find out there are many other Woman who have had miscarriages too. You never forget though. I bet you OH thinks its Christmas!!Becky xx

  2. >Well it certainly makes for a better Christmas! It is all too common, but what gives me hope is that there are so many babies out there too!Thanks for reading!

  3. >Very sorry to read this. I lost my first at 11 weeks. It was devastating. But seven years and two children later I am very happy to say I no longer remember her due date – though I'm afraid I do remember the first and only three months of her life which were very traumatic as she was clearly not thriving and eventually died without my miscarrying. Of course everyone handles these things very differently but the advice I was given by a friend at the time was wait three months and try again. I'm sure there's no medical evidence for this, but I did and it worked, so I am passing on the tip. Very good luck. xx

  4. >Thanks for your comments Not a Notting Hill Mum, I feel pleased that most of the miscarriage stories I hear have a happy ending.

  5. >I was so sorry to read this post but at the same time it is so full of hope and positivity that I couldn't help but smile at the end. Thank you for sharing and the best of luck to Mr S and Mrs E! πŸ™‚

  6. >Thank you Mummy@Bod, I think that's how I am trying to feel at the moment. Thanks for reading!

  7. >Hon I didn't realise your miscarriage was this year when I read your last post about it, I thought it was last Christmas. I'm so sorry. Your post is a great one full of hope and positivity like Bod For Tea says.My Sister and her husband can't have children and she's a registrar of births, marriages and deaths too. She gets asked constantly why she hasn't got any children. I would never ask anyone about children anymore as there are a surprising amount of people who struggle trying to conceive aswell as women who have miscarriages. So many of my friends have been through this experience but have gone on to conceive again straight away.Sorry, I'm waffling – as usual.Good luck with your journey x

  8. >Thanks for your comment SAHMlovingit, I think it is all too common which is very sad but it does normalise it which I think, in some ways, makes it easier to deal with. I also know that I had it relatively easy, miscarrying early and being able to actually get pregnant in the first place so it does put it into perspective for me. Thanks for reading!

  9. >Brave post Mrs…..You'll never forget but the pain does go. I promise. Like Notanottinghillmum we miscarried at 12 weeks 8 years ago this Feb. I also can't remember the date either but as you know, now have 3 gorgeous poppets. xxxx

  10. >very brave post, we miscarried before we had our third and it felt awful. I still think of the baby we lost but I also look at my daughter whom we wouldn't have.stay strong and smile.Jane

  11. >Thanks SAM – I hope to bring good news this year!Northernmum, I think that is a really positive perspective you have, I hope that if I manage to get pregnant prior to the due date I can hold onto that thought.Thanks for reading!

  12. >Your post totally resonated with me – I lost my first at 6 weeks before going on to have a successful pregnancy with my now 2yo daughter. Like northernmum I often look at her and how wonderful she is and think that somehow, even though it didn't feel like it at the time, what happened was meant to be and allowed us to have our littl'un. For everyone I know who got pregnant as soon as they started trying again after #1, I know 2 more who miscarried in between #1 and #2 – and we are just about to start that journey again ourselves – so best of luck with your endeavours and enjoy the trying πŸ™‚

  13. >(((ChocOrange Mum))) I miscarried last April and blogged about it (alot) as it helped me so much and I hope helped others. I am finally at the point I have come to terms with it and have grieved at last.Sending lots fo love to you.Mich x

  14. >Kathryn, I hope your efforts to conceive number two are successful. I am enjoying the trying πŸ˜‰ but want some results soon!Michelle – it is nice to talk about it anonymously as its a difficult conversation in real life, people get very awkward, not that I can blame them!Thanks for reading guys and for kind words. x

  15. >I am so sorry to read and hear about this. This is the exact reason is why I choose Tommy's as the charity to run and raise money for. Much hugs & love x

  16. >Wishing you the luck you need xx look forward to sharing your journey through your blog Qwerty Mum

  17. >Emma – thanks for your kind words, if you have a justgiving site (or similar) please let me know the link so I can make a donation. xxxQwertymum – thanks for luck, I will take it! I hope to share good news on here one day soon!

  18. >Beautifully written and I really feel for you. Had a missed miscarriage years ago, and have a 5 yo boy now, and trying for over a year for no 2! It certainly is a journey. I'm on the Persona route now, all things NOT crossed for you and me and everyone else too. Hopped across from http://www.itsamummyslife.com/ -HMx

  19. >Humdrum Mum – thanks for your kind words. Hopefully it won't be much longer for either of us!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: