Help me name my lady bits

Its started. Whilst enjoying a bubbly splashy bath with the Boy this evening he looked at my lady area and this conversation followed:

the Boy: “where is your willy”

Me: “I don’t have a willy, I’m a girl”

the Boy “where do you wee wee”

Me: “I have a…….. hole where the wee wee comes out”

OK you can laugh now, I am cringing in my failure at this very important question.

So here is my problem, whilst you can call boy bits a simple name like a willy there is nothing comparable for lady bits. They all seem much cruder or at the other end really silly flowery names. I am such a prude and cannot even type them here but you know what I mean!

Now I am paranoid I am going to give my son a complex about lady bits and he is going to grow up forever confused about what to call them. I am hoping that someone out there can give me a sensible, ungraphic name to call them or alternatively tell me I am a complete and utter fool who would be failing my son if I don’t put aside my own prudish ways and just say it.

So what do you call them?

19 Responses

  1. Ha ha funny conversation! I will be calling my prvate area ‘fanny’ simples!! X

    • That’s on my “too crude” list – not entirely sure why but I am not a fan.

      Next please….. 🙂

  2. Never had to actually think of a name for it as yet! Boys have willies and girls….well they just don’t!
    Girlie bits springs to kind as a fairly innocuous name that I don’t think I’d have too much difficulty hearing from my 3 and 5 year olds.
    Funny they’ve never asked what to call it as they have seen my water birth DVDs (not graphic – nice gentle births! And not me giving birth!) and I had to explain that ladies have a special place for babies to come out of as well the ones boys have for wee wees and poos.
    Is a bit of a conundrum when you’ve got three boys and no girls! Good luck in your search for a suitable name! X

    • I can’t believe they have never asked – let me know how you deal with it when they do!

  3. In our house it has been called a couple of things – ‘front bottom’ is one of them and the other is ‘money box’ after I once found a penny in my daughters nappy and we said that perhaps she was trying to put it in her money box……others I know call it a fairy but I’m not so keen on that. My 2 eldest now know the ‘V’ word so they have mentioned that word on occasion – followed by giggles!
    Good luck !!

    • Front bottom I can deal with but I wonder if thats a confusing one – why do women have two bottoms and boys only one, what if he feels short changed? 😉

      The V word makes me giggle and blush so I can’t manage that one!

      • surely he won’t feel short changed, after all he has a Willy!

  4. When my step son was 2 (he’s 16 now!) he used to call ladies bits a “polo” don’t ask me where he got it from but I suppose it does have a hole in the middle!

    • curious, I wonder where he got that from, not sure its getting on my short-list though 😀

  5. SO glad I’m not alone in this hang-up! I have a biology degree, for pete’s sake, and I can’t handle the V-word, how silly. But there I am. My daughter (now 7) and I have always just said “girl parts” when they need to be spoken of, and my son (now 10) isn’t phased by that (though, reader that he is, he also knows the V-word)–it’s just not a matter of concern to him. (May that remain true for a while longer, lol!)

    • Glad its not just me too! Girl parts is about what I manage too so maybe we’ll see if we can stick to that one and I can leave the playground to teach him the others 🙂

  6. hoo-hah, doo-dah, whoopsie, hoo-hoo, tota/toti… just a few i’ve heard. 🙂

    good luck!

  7. Ours have always been ‘Nins’. Boys have willies, girls have ninnys. Singularly, a nin :0)

    • Have heard of noo-noo before but not a ninny, I wonder where these ones come from? 🙂

  8. I was brought up to call it a Front Bottom like Helen so I think thats what we will call it when Mads gets to that age!
    Others I have heard are Minnie, Twinkle, Flower- All much too cutesy and flowery for me! x

    • I think I am going with girl bits!! Front bottom sounds too confusing to me so I want to be as ambiguous as possible 🙂

  9. OMG this reminds me of a conversation I had with someone that I work with. It’s far trickier than boy parts. My friend said that they called lady bits their Fi-fi which cracked me up. It was known to us when younger as our ‘mini’ which when you think about it makes no sense.

    Now I have all the cringeworthy ‘lady bits’ names flowing through my mind and funny looks being shot across the room from 12yo and OH!! They haven’t got a clue what I’m laughing at!

    • Aren’t they all ridiculous!! Glad I provided your home with some entertainment 🙂

  10. We call it a minky. It’s a bit silly really, but it’s just stuck and both my children call it that now.

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