Life with two – one week in

Its been 8 days since Baby Girl graced us with her presence. This time 3 years ago the Boy was 3 days old and baby blues were about to set in leaving me in floods of tears each day alongside a feeling of inadequacy, loss of self confidence and utter confusion about this whole parenting malarkey. It was a really difficult time and it took me a while to get used to life as a parent. I was very worried about how things would be this time, there would not only be a newborn in the house but a toddler too – double trouble!

So far though, things have been very different to last time. I think I expected too much of the Boy when he was born, I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t do what I wanted and took it as a personal attack when he wouldn’t sleep or feed or be happy when I thought he should, often forgetting that he was just a tiny person completely new to this world. This time I find myself putting myself in Baby Girls shoes when I have no idea what she wants; does she or is she just overwhelmed with the fact that she has been thrust into the world and is experiencing a whole range of feelings, sensations and experiences for the first time ever. Reminding myself of this makes me realise that it is my job to make it easier for her, not the other way around.

I took about 3 hours to fall completely and utterly in love with her – after the birth I was feeling a bit detached from it all and felt like I was watching things happen from above but once I came down from this feeling I just looked at her and felt my heart swell as if it were going to burst out of my chest. She is totally scrumptious.

The Boy has made things extra special, watching his reactions to her and how he has accepted her presence so easily. He has been a bit challenging at times, but his whole world has been changed too so I expected some effect, but he is very sweet with her and she is the first thing he wants to see in the morning when he wakes up. Seeing them together makes me feel so happy that they have each other.

This time we have so much going on in our lives with the Boy’s needs that we cannot pay the same attention to her but I think this has deflected the pressure from us to focus all of our efforts on her and she has slotted into our lives rather than the other way around. We don’t walk on eggshells fearful of making the slightest sound when she is asleep, or we might but the Boy shows us its not necessary! We have accepted from the beginning that sleep is something which might escape us for some time yet but we know that this will end at some point. Mostly I have remembered that this beautiful newborn stage is so short lived that rather than worrying she is sleeping on me instead of her moses basket or that she isn’t really hungry and is just comfort sucking I am just enjoying every moment and every cuddle with her.

Its only been 8 days so I know there will be challenges ahead at various stages but I am so pleased we are off to a good start and that I feel so much more capable this time. Of course I have cried at something of nothing everyday (when the Man tidied up the whole downstairs after the Boys birthday, when the Boys hair was cut too short etc) but I just let the tears flow and be grateful they are for such little things.

I feel very very lucky right now to have such a wonderful husband, son AND daughter and if things get tough in the future I can use this to remind me of that.

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One Response

  1. It’s been so long since my 2 were that young … but what an adorable photo! You’re doing a great job 🙂

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