>Here I am

>I have a friend, well I do have more than one (!) but this post refers to one particular friend, she is upset with me for having said something which she didn’t like. Quite what that is I don’t know, it wasn’t something intentionally hurtful or criticising but in some way my words have been taken as such. It has made me evaluate myself in a whole new light.

I think I am a nice person, quite judgemental and snobby inside, but on the outside I always try to be nice and friendly to people. However I am noticing more and more in recent years just how direct I am.

I cannot lie, I don’t know why but I just cannot manage to say untruthful words without grinning or mumbling so if I get a direct question then I give a direct answer. Ok I am not stupid, if someone says “do I look fat in this” I would manage to lie (if they did) but this is my sense of kindness which prevails over truthfulness in minefield situations.

For everything else I am very honest and have a horrid habit of speaking before thinking or saying things in my own direct way. Luckily most of my friends, family and husband understand this trait in me and either laugh or say something equally direct back but this one friend does not seem to get me, and as a result our friendship seems lost. I find it very sad  as at one point we were very close (she was the first friend I told when I was pregnant with the Boy). I wonder if it is my fault but on the other hand I don’t know what else I could do. I cannot change my ways as this is me and I honestly don’t think I could dampen or hide my personality to account for this friendship. Is she in the wrong for not accepting me or equally can she not change her reactions to me.

I think, after a long long time of believing otherwise, that I like myself and who I am so this has really shaken me but I also think I am confident enough in myself to know that I can’t do anything about this situation and have to let things fix themselves rather than force the issue.

What do you think, have you had friendships that didn’t work, this is a first for me.

>7 things you didn’t know about me

>I could never resist a good gossip so when Curtains for the window, Mummy from the heartGhostwritermummySAHMlovingitLa douce vie and Super Amazing Mum included me in their chain blog, and didn’t threaten my love life to implode if I didn’t partake, I started to think. I mean I could actually say anything because there is not much you could know about me considering I have been blogging for 2 weeks but I will try to make them something that I wouldn’t usually disclose on the blog.

So here goes:

  1. I love love love Home and Away.
  2. I was a backing singer on the Ant and Dec 2002 World Cup song, “We’re on the ball”. The FA invited some fans, piled us with beer and placed the microphone on the other side of the room. I cannot sing but I have enthusiasm. So now I tell people, I have a number two single!
  3. I once caused six armed police cars to block off a road and storm a house because of a man with an air gun doing target practice. In my defence, he was wearing a balaclava.
  4. I was on a breastfeeding documentary with my son when he was 10 weeks old and my breastmilk was the fattiest.
  5. I once cried at the Simpsons.
  6. I was the May Queen when I was 12 for our local church and all the other children had to dance around the Maypole with me sitting on a throne.
  7. I once drank 5 litres of beer at a German beerhouse followed by schnapps, met it again the next morning (along with my pill!), came home hungover, seduced the Man and conceived the very unplanned boy.

And now for my nominees to carry the baton, I will not use anyone who already nominated me because they are named first!