Listography – Decisions

I haven’t done a Listography for a while but I couldn’t resist this one. I really believe in this Sliding Doors concept and sometimes wish I had a crystal ball to see what might have happened if I took the other path. Luckily I am very happy with my life so no regrets about anything but I can’t help but wonder sometimes, what if.

From Kate – This week Listography is inspired by the amazing Christine Mosler at Thinly Spread. If you have been living under a rock with an eye patch on each eye and bananas in your ears you may not have heard about the Save the Children ‘No Child Born To Die’ campaign. If this is the case please click this link immediately to sign the petition before coming back here to read on.

So here are mine:

Going to Bradford University

When I was younger, I wanted to be a childrens TV presenter or a newsreader, I always was a show off! I got a place on a Broadcast Journalism course at Falmouth College but when I went to visit I wasn’t convinced that it was the right place for me and I was a bit concerned that the course would be fun to do but not lead anywhere. So I decided to see what else was out there and eventually decided on the Business and Management, course for people who don’t know what they want to do with their life, at Bradford. And it was fab – new friends, drinking, boys, drinking, currys, drinking, you get the idea. But most importantly it set the path for my whole life today, I met my husband there and got myself onto a Banks graduate programme which has led me to my current career. If it weren’t for Bradford University who knows where I would be – CBeebies I guess!

Having the Boy

He was not a planned baby so when we found out I was pregnant we were shocked. We had only been married 9 months but we have a nice, if a bit small, house and good jobs each, so although we were in a good position to have children we just hadn’t considered it happening yet. I think, of all the decisions the Man and have made in our life together, this one was was the quickest and the quietest – it was a look, a holy hell what’s happened here look, what are we going to do and then a nod in agreement – it took all of about 5 seconds. Hands down, best decision EVER!

Charting my fertility

I am a control freak and if I am going to do something I like to get it done and I research things a lot. So when the Man and I agreed to have Baby number 2 I went to find out how to get pregnant – honestly there are ways and means! Charting is monitoring various aspects of your body to predict when you will ovulate so you can time SWI (sex with intent for those non-Mumsnetters!) Lets face it, we’ve been married 4 years and have a toddler who wakes in the night occasionally, every day was just not going to happen! I loved charting, partly because it made me feel a bit more in control of the process but mainly because I learnt some fascinating new things about how our bodies work. For example, did you know that after ovulation your body temperature goes up by 0.1-0.3 degrees and then drops back down when you get your period. I am in awe of how clever our bodies are and feel enlightened for having learnt it. Oh and it helped me get pregnant so was also successful.

Joining a Tennis Club

I am useless at exercise, it bores me, but I have always enjoyed sports. Since the Boy was born I haven’t been able to play much as it would require a babysitter and we don’t have many local friends so last Summer I took the plunge and turned up to the local tennis club and asked to join. It was a bit scary but I am really pleased I did it, I am not very good  (although improving thanks to my 21 year old cute instructor) but I can see myself getting better which gives me Wimbledon hopes yet. The pregnancy is going to stop me playing at some point but I hope it will only be a 6 month break or so.

Writing this post

If I hadn’t, you might not be reading and I will have missed out on your lovely comments below! 😉

Peeping Tom

>As per SuperAmazingMum and ManicMum’s Peeping Tom meme here is my real life love story.

I never imagined that I would meet my husband and the father of my children on my first day of University. In fact I didn’t know it until many years later. On arriving at the University of Bradford halls of residence I was on the lookout for a boyfriend, having never had a real one before, but the Man never even entered the radar for that. He just wasn’t my type but we got on really well as friends and he would let me watch Dawsons Creek on his TV even though he hated it and let me sleep in his bed (while he was relegated to the communal kitchen counter) when I was locked out of my room. We were always good friends but that was it.

Five months after starting university I did nab myself a boyfriend. He was lovely and we were together for two and a half years but we were very different people and I was not sure about our future. Two things highlighted this for me, the first was the Richard from Friends type moment (you know, the one where he tells Monica he’ll have kids “if you want to”) as he decided that after two years of telling me he never wanted to live in London that he would make the move “if that’s what I wanted” and the second was seeing the Man leaving a club with, lets call her “some Hussy”, which provoked a strong reaction in my gut which felt a lot like jealousy. For weeks I tried to deny this feeling as I was very confused, how could I like him, I had a boyfriend – it was a difficult time for me and as I don’t eat when I am stressed I actually lost weight.

After a stressful couple of months things finally came to a head when we were in the pub, drinking lemonade and watching Neighbours on the TV and I had to leave to meet my boyfriend and I realised I really didn’t want to, sitting in silence with the Man was more enticing than dinner with my boyfriend. So that was it, we broke up that night.

Things move fast at university when you don’t have a job to occupy you and only 15 hours of lectures (and you only bother going to 2) so within a few days the Man had some idea that he was a factor in our breakup (I cannot lie and when a mutual friend asked me if I liked someone else I caved as I had been hiding my secret for so long). As the direct person he is, he got straight to the heart of the matter and asked to “talk” – in the middle of the day, before any alcohol was even consumed! Was he crazy? So I stuttered not yet and proceeded to get very drunk in a club later that night (these being student days where every night was a different club, oh to be young).

What I didn’t know at the time was that almost at exactly the same time as I started to have these odd feelings towards him, he started feeling the same way and thank god he is a very open, honest and brave person as he told me exactly that. It was lovely and oh so cute as we both pondered what on earth to do about this for fear of ruining a fantastic friendship. So we headed back to my place to talk. We both agreed we wanted to kiss but should we, what if something went wrong, what if this wasn’t the right thing to do? The Man’s motto has always been “live by the coin, die by the coin” and so we decided heads we kiss, tails we don’t. Guess what came up – three times in a bloody row, tails!! So of course he threw the coin on the floor and kissed me anyway.

Ten months later we moved to London after graduation, two and a half years after that he proposed (which is worth another post in itself) and 18 months after that the most beautiful Boy in the world was born.

So thank you Bradford University and some Hussy.

>Farewell to an era

>On Thursday afternoon I had hand surgery to remove two stones from my hand embedded there since a motorbike accident in Thailand eight years ago. Although I can now clap without fear of the stones jabbing into me I will miss my little quirk and way to entertain small children. It has made me realise how much of my life the stones have been present for and how I will miss them. So, my tribute to my stones and the memories we have shared:

  • Moving into my first flat with the Man after university, it was tiny but it was ours and celebrating it by breaking the bed.
  • Working in the City, so much fun in my early twenties, far too much wine and not enough sleep.
  • The Man proposing to me in Richmond Park and the only time in my life I have been speechless (I had to nod yes).
  • Our beautiful wedding in Cornwall where the sun shone down on us and we were surrounded by all of our family and friends and I was made to feel so special.
  • The positive pregnancy test at 11pm after three pints and the subsequent breakdown in a Tesco toilet.
  • The birth of the Boy and the agony I went through to get him out followed by pure amazement at what we had created.
  • So many Boy moments that have filled my heart with pride and happiness.
  • And a memorable last day together.

So goodbye dear friends, whilst you live on in a plastic pot I feel our relationship will not be the same again. I will miss you and think of you when I see my two scars.